rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
