Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
