worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
