I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
