VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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