...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
