i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
