I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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