K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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