so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
