My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize