I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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