How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
