Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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