My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
