He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
