He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
They are going to name an STD after you.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
