Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize