Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
