Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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