i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm at about main and main street
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
