Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
