margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize