ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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