Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
