I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
