Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Text me some of your sweat
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
