Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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