Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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