She said her name was "party"
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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