i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
