There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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