I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
