he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
