By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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