If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
