I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
