dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
