All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
