Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
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Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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