I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
