Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
