wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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