my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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