He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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