Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize