Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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