I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize