why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
