Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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