Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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