at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
