$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
why is half of my head shaved?
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