i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
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