I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
