i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
