U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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