All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
