He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
