Sponge bath it is.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
