shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
