i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
