he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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