we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
